Signs from Heaven

Signs from Heaven, God Winks...There have been many names attributed to the phenomenon of receiving messages from loved ones who have crossed over.

I personally have received many of these signs.

The night my daughter, Alicia, was killed (but before I knew), I heard my wind chimes clattering in the "wind" on a hot, muggy August night. There wasn't any wind...

It gave me an eerie and uneasy feeling. About 30 minutes later, police were at my door giving me the worst news of my life.

It's my belief that Alicia passed by to warn me of the devastating news to come, and also to let me know she was okay, and that she wasn't really gone.

Since then, I have seen so many different signs, messages, clues, etc. that it's difficult NOT to believe that it means something.

I don't think everything I hear or see is from Alicia, but when something special or unusual happens AND I get a strong emotion from it, I tend to think it's my little girl shining through. Sometimes I feel my mom or sister is sending me a message but not nearly as often as what I believe to be from Alicia.

One of the most frequent signs I get relates to dragonflies.

In 2001, we watched an emotional movie that really moved me called "Dragonfly." It was about a wife who was in an accident and sending urgent messages to her husband (Kevin Costner).

Here's a link to the IMDB website if you want to check it out: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0259288/

A few years later, Alicia gave me a dragonfly pin.

So it makes sense that Alicia would send me messages via dragonflies. To clarify, I see MANY dragonflies every day in my backyard. I think most of them are just regular insects doing their thing. But once in a while, I just get a vibe from one dragonfly that flies close or lands on my car antenna or something. I can't explain it, really. It's just a feeling.

The other night, my husband and I were taking pics outside. I was taking some of the pretty sky streaked with pink. Then I saw this and my jaw dropped:

It's a perfect dragonfly in the clouds, with thorax and wings and everything. 

Wow, just wow! I said "Okay, Alicia, message received loud and clear!" <3 p="">

What kind of signs or messages do you get from your loved ones who have passed away?

Momma G's Sweet Tea

     One of my favorite things about the South and summer is delightfully refreshing sweet tea. Usually the BBQ restaurants have the best tea (although Red Lobster's is pretty good, too!)

     This is our sweet tea recipe. I like to swap a couple black tea bags with green tea to mix it up and add some of the nutritional benefits. Tea is good for you -- although I know all the sugar is not. But sometimes our souls just need something yummy. Enjoy!

Bird and Nature Photos

Some birding we did using our Nikon Coolpix L840.

                                                   Dragonfly having lunch

Hawk

Woodpecker

Hawk

Mockingbird chasing after a hawk

                                                     Canadian Goose Family

Male cardinal

Male cardinal

Lizard

Canadian Goose Family

Sweet!

Cat and Dog Photos

These are some pictures we took of our pets using our Nikon Coolpix L840.
We enjoy this point and shoot camera so much!

"Hey, I'm Tony. Forgetaboutit!"

This is Red showing you his WHOLE mouth!

Beasley in her new hat.

Sawyer saying hi.

Sawyer stalking Tony

Sawyer about to pounce,.

Sawyer stalking Tony. 

Action shot!

Tony saying hi.

The Moon

Oh, how I love the moon...Pictures taken with Nikon Coolpix L840

Photography for Fun - Using Coolpix L840

We bought this terrific point and shoot camera on clearance at Target a couple of months ago. We've been taking pictures of the moon, birds, and everything cool we can think of.

Here are some pictures from the beach and the lake:

Collecting Recipes

My husband and I both lost our moms in 2014. We're left with sad hearts and many happy memories of childhood and beyond.

We find ourselves reminiscing about our mothers' recipes. We'll never again have that special potato salad, banana bread, or other specialties just how Mom lovingly made.

This started us on a quest for good recipes. We're at an age now where we have a little more time and patience for cooking and baking.

Barbecue is my husband's specialty. Ribs and pork, cooked low and slow, earns him many praises from family and friends. (Look for a post here soon about his cooking!)

My specialty is...eating. Ha!

Alas, I have never been known for my skills in the kitchen. However, I have a few dishes that I think I have perfected for my taste and my family's, at least. When I cook, it's usually baking and usually semi-homemade.

In this post I want to share some of the recipes we've collected from the internet. Enjoy!


If you love comfort food as much as I do, you'll enjoy this yummy (and easy!) apple crisp.

http://outofthegardenintothekitchen.blogspot.com/2012/01/apple-crisp-with-canned-apples.html

(I'll keep adding to this post. Please check back.)

Alone, Lonely, or Independent? On Becoming a Cat Lady

Pop Quiz: It's Saturday night. I am sitting on the couch with my laptop and my cat. A load of laundry is spinning in the background.

Am I alone, lonely, or independent?

Answer: None of the above. I am simply becoming a Cat Lady.

Before I sound too dramatic, I will clarify that I have a husband and friends and family, But as of late, I am alone - a lot.

When my husband's not working, he's usually with me. Today he had a golfing date with his buddies, and I was happy for him. "Sure, go!" I said. I have errands to run, anyway.

{Insert Whitesnake song}

"Here I go again on my own, going down the only road I've ever known;
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone."

Sigh...

I really do like myself and I really do appreciate "me" time. Yet I feel a little bit lonely.

As I walked into Walmart (part of my errands), I saw a woman with her older mom, shopping. I felt a pang in my heart as I thought of my mom, who passed away 2 years ago, She normally wouldn't have gone shopping with me, anyway. She was extremely independent and wanted to do things in her own way and in her own time frame. But suddenly I pictured us walking along, chit chatting, and I really, really missed her. After all, I haven't had a mommy at age 50 and I don't know what that would be like. I bet it would be nice.

While I was driving home, my daughter called me. I enjoy talking with my grown up baby girl who no longer lives at home. She worries about me. I think she thinks I will end up a Cat Lady like my mom was. But I told my daughter not to worry. "I am OKAY," I said. "I guess I am a little lonely but not really." The last thing I want to do is hold back my daughter by laying a bunch of misplaced guilt onto her.

The truth is, I am just sad. I am just missing people who are no longer in my life. No one can fix that. Not my husband, not my daughter, not my friends.

I am not really okay but I have to learn to be okay with not being okay.

Don't we all, at one point or another?

So, I sit here tonight, and I pet my cat, Sawyer. He purrs and he squints his eyes at me (which means I love you according to Jackson Galaxy.) http://www.animalplanet.com/tv-shows/my-cat-from-hell

I am Becoming a Cat Lady of sorts. Just like my mom. And I don't consider that a bad thing. Peace out.

Pandora Stand Up Comedy

Great stress relief!

Identity Crisis: When Your Youngest Leaves the Nest (After Your Oldest Died)

What now?

In a couple of week this, my youngest child will be 21. Not only is she truly an adult now, she's also been spending a lot of time away from home with her boyfriend. So although she hasn't officially left, things are definitely different.

I am having an IDENTITY CRISIS.

I have been a mom since my oldest child was born in 1987- almost 30 years. I am still a mom, of course, and I always will be. But I am no longer a "mommy" doing all those many parental things that were my norm for a few decades now. 

Every parent goes through this, I know. And I am extremely happy for my daughter as she embarks upon this new chapter in her life. However, I am struggling with a few challenges that not every mom has to deal with.

My oldest daughter was killed 10 years ago. She was only 19. So her "little" sister is now older than she is--which is weird for me. If she were still here, she could be the Big Sister and give me advice as Little Sister ventures out on her own. Maybe I would even be a grandma by now since my oldest would have turned 29 this year. A lot of maybes. And it all adds up to heartache.

As I cried this morning, wondering what my role is in life--especially since both my mom and older sister are also gone--it occurred to me that I am no longer young and pretty and I am no longer a daughter or a sister (since 2014) and now I am not even a MOMMY. 

Who the hell am I then?!

I am a wife. My husband is supportive, thank goodness. But this is not an issue for him. He doesn't have all of the instincts and emotions that course through my veins. 

I am still "me" and luckily I like "me" and I am able to be alone without being lonely.

But no matter what, this hurts. Feeling UN-NEEDED hurts. And this is on top of the unbelievable amount of pain from losing my oldest daughter.

I listened to John Mayer's "Born and Raised" today, and even though he is not a mom (not even a dad) the lyrics are spot on.

"Now and then I pace my place

I can't retrace how I got here

I cheat and lie to check my fates
It's slightly harder than last year

Then all at once it gets hard to take
It gets hard to fake what I won't be
'Cause one of these days I'll be born and raised
And it's such a waste to grow up lonely

I still have dreams, they're not the same
They don't fly as high as they used to
I saw my friend, he's in my head
And he said, "You don't remember me, do you?"

Then all at once it gets hard to take
It gets hard to fake what I won't be
'Cause one of these days I'll be born and raised
And it's such a waste to grow up lonely

I still got time, I still got faith
I call on both of my brothers
I got a mom, I got a dad
But they do not have each other

So line on up, take your place
And show your face to the morning
'Cause one of these days you'll be born and raised
And it all comes on without warning.":

My mom accomplished her goal. I was successfully "Born and Raised" and so was my sister. Sadly, she is "Born and Raised (and in Heaven)" and so is my oldest daughter. What am I supposed to do with that bundle of emotions?

On top of this, I can't vent about it to anyone. Fortunately, none of my friends can quite understand this specific Identity Crisis I am having. And there is no way I will vent to my daughter. She deserves to follow her own path and find happiness. My personal problems are NOT her problem. 
If she sees me cry, I hope she knows that I am still happy for her.